In a rare candid interview in the White House earlier this week Trump meet with top press officials in the Oval Office and handed them all a letter formally asking them to refer to his administration from now on as FART (FASCIST AUTHORITARIAN REGIME OF TRUMP).

He talked about that he really believes in transparency of government and and it somehow that name FART seemed to be quite fitting. Trump stated, “There’s been lots of talk about smelling, stinking, or even some major reeking going on here. Some have even said it smells more rotten than the state of Denmark in Washinton D.C. currently and I assure you, yes, we have the best smelling rotten in the whole world. America really is #1. Quite possibly the best rotten ever!”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders even made a brief unexpected visit to the oval office during this meeting and stated, “Donny, don’t forget there’s also been talk of bullshit, plenty of bullshit, the thickest bullshit ever. We say that with so much pride. Who has thicker bullshit than us at FART? Well, I don’t know anyone at all… Do you?”

Trump then incoherently babbled for several minutes (quite possibly another Hillary rant) and concluded with a message directly for his base, “That no matter what the Clintons, Obamas, or even that Barbara Streisand says believe me you really can trust this FART.”

By Chris Madsen